The Three White Lies! ( The Power Of Love - Two )

Three White Lies The words " I Love You " mean so much, but how many people have been led astray by hearing those three words? All three words are likely to lead to delusion. Personality-view is the supporting condition for all the other mental defilement. It is not wrong to use the words "I", "me" , or "mine" if we use them in the conventional sense, and understand that they are just conventions. However, it never stops there. If we have not eradicated personality-view, we take what is impermanent to be permanent, we regard what is unsatisfactory and painful as satisfying and pleasant, and we believe what is insubstantial and uncontrollable to be substantial and subject to our control. In the ultimate sense "I" ia a lie, "me" is a lie, and "mine" is a lie, i.e. they are false and misleading. In the conventional sense they are not false, but they support the false idea of a permanent self. A wise person is not led astray by them, but the foolish majority usually take things personally. When we use the word "you" in talking to someone else, it is also true only in the conventional sense. The listener will most probably become puffed up with pride if the words are pleasing, or upset if they are unpleasant. He or she is unlikely to realise that the speaker's praise or criticism is just a personal opinion, and so is likely to take any comments personally.Human beings are social beings and it is only natural to want to be liked by others . Some American psychologists conducted tests on unsuspecting students. A hidden camera was set up in an elevator. Everyone except the students who were the "victims" of the experiment, was told to face towards the back of the elevator or entering it. the hidden camera showed that all of the victims soon became very uncomfortable when facing to the front of the elevator, as people usually do. Because everyone else was facing the wrong way _ towards the back of elevator-- they soon responded by turning round to face the wrong way! This proves that though we should listen objectively to criticism or praise, we must face the right way (or do the right things), whether others agree with us or not. The word "love" covers many meanings. When a man loves a woman, or a woman loves a man, it is normally rooted in sensual desire or lust-- which is not love. When someone loves their parents or children it is rooted in affection and attachment-- which is not love either. If someone loves a religion or an ideology it is rooted in attachment to view, and that is also not love. Pure, unconditional love (metta) is the wish for the well- being of others, without any discrimination or partiality. It includes the wish for one's own well-being too, no less and no more than the wish for the well-being o others. It is more mature than just wanting to make others happy in the short term. King Pasenadi married Mallika, a poor flower girl who showed him a great kindness when he was in danger and exhausted from battle. To reassure her and to express his love for her, he told her that he loved her more than anyone else. The king then asked Mallika who she loved most of all, expecting the answer that she loved him the most. However, Mallika truthfully replied that she loved herself most of all. The king was taken aback and told the Buddha about it, but the Buddha praised Queen Mallika words of wisdom. Pleasing Others is not Love A comedian once asked the Buddha where comedian were reborn after death. The Buddha refused to reply at first, but on being pressed he replied that.....