The Power Of Love - One

Few emotions have a more powerful effect on people's lives than love. Feeling unloved is the most common reason for depression, and being "in love" radically alters one's view of the world----"Everyone loves a lover" as they say. Films plays, and books of love stories are often more successful than those on other topics. The practice of love is essential to the spiritual life in all religions. "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angles, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind ; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things." (Corinthians 1.13) Here, love or charity does not mean generosity, but goodwill or love of humanity. Religious people should strive to develop a mature love that is unselfish. the passage from corinthians continues; "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways." Buddhist monks are often accused of being indifferent to the suffering of others, practising meditation for their own happiness alone without compassion for those in trouble. The buddhist ideal of a monk is meditation alone in a forest or cemetery may seem remote from ordinary people's lives, and unsociable---even anti -social. I would like to quote a few passages from the buddhist texts to show that the buddha was certainly not lucking in love and compassion. "ROJA THE MALLA" At one time, the Buddha made his way to a place called Apana in the malla kingdom, with two thousand five hundred monks. on hearing of the Buddha's impending visit, the malla princes made a Proclamation that anyone who failed to turn up to greet the Buddha would be fined. Roja was an intimate friend of Venerable Ananada, the Buddha's personal attendant. Seeing Roja in the crowd, ananada greeted him warmly, saying how pleased he was that Roja had come to welcome the Buddha Roja replied that he had only come because of the thread of being fined. Venerable Ananada was a very kind and sensitive monk, and was hurt by Roja's indifference to the Buddha. He thought, "my friend is ignorant of the benefits to be gained by paying respects to the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha, and will loose a great opportunity." Ananada told the Buddha his private thoughts about his friends, expressing his anxiety about the benefits that Roja would lose. The Buddha exhorted Ananada to develop loving kindness for Roja. The Buddha himself also directed his loving kindness towards Roja. As part of his daily routine, the Buddha radiated loving kindness to all living beings equally. However, because of the intervention of Venerable Ananada, he directed his loving kindness specially to Roja. Immediately, Roja felt immense reverence for the buddha.It is said that his state of mind was like that of a new born calf, which has a deep attachment to its mother.Roja could not help himself, he began searching all over the monastery for the Buddha .Directed by the monks, he soon found his way to the Buddha's residence.He sat in the Buddha presence, worshipping him with great devotion. The buddha talked to him about the benefits of charity, morality, concentration, and inside, after which Roja realised nibbana and became a Stream winner.roja then asked the Buddha to recognise him as a life time provider of the four requisites: almsfood, robes, medicine, and shelter. Unconditional Love There are so many different ways that love can manifest. Real , unconditional love is not in the least sentimental.It is hard to practise, since it is totally selfless. It is impossible to please everyone all of the time. Even the Buddha made numerous enemies in spite of his unlimited love and compassion. For example, when he renounced the palace, leaving his young wife, Ya Thaw Da yar, and his new born son , Rar hu la , he was not being self-centered, nor was he neglecting his responsibilities, for he knew that they would be taken care of by his relatives. He surely loved his wife and son as much as any farther, but having realised that they were trapped by old-age, sickness, and death , he went in search of an escape. When a soldier goes to war he risks his life to fight the enemy, and has to leave his wife and children behind, though he doesn't want to go at all. Those who stay behind usually regard a soldier as a hero who deserves the greatest respect, even though he may be making serious unwholesome kamma by killing human beings. The bodhisatta was not makingany such unwholesome kamma, yet he was going out to fight the enemy. The enemy he was fighting is not the enemy of a particular nationality or political party, but the enemy of all human beings, everywhere. This enemy is, of course, the enemy within-- greed. lust, selfishness, hatered, anger, stubborness, arrogance, delusion, ignorance, conceit. pride, ect. Another woman might have criticised her husband for deserting her, but Ya Thaw da yar did not complain at all. She must have noticed how deeply Siddhattha was affected by the suffering he had seen when he ventured outsite the palace. They must have discussed the meaning of life. However, Ya Thaw Da Yar's father was deeply offened by what he saw as Siddhattha's desertion of his daughter. The Buddha's father in law, King Suppabuddha, later insulted the Buddha and fell into hell as a result. Of course, that would not have been the Buddha's wish. He must have had good-will towards his own father in law, but the king's attitude was wrong. He was totally mistaken about Siddhatta's intentions, and was destroyed by his own self-righteous anger and indignation. What a great loss he suffered! His own daughter and grand son became eminent members of the Sangha and could surely have taught him the Dhamma very well, but he could not overcome his foolish pride and anger. Magandiya was another unfortunate person who hated the Buddha. When she was a beautiful young woman, her parents tried to arrange for her to marry the Buddha, who they regarded as the only good enough for their daughter. However , the Buddha rejected her parents' proposal saying ," I would not like to touch this body full of urine and excrement even with my foot !" (Suttanipata, verse 841). Admittedly, that is not the sort or response that most young men would give to a marriage proposal; most might be tempted, or at least flattered, by such an offer. It is not at all obevious why the buddha had to speak so harshly. However, Magandiya's parents both attentained deep insight from the Buddha's teaching , so he must have realised that such shock tatics were essencial. Unfortunately, Magandiya could not bear to be reminded of the unpleasant facts of life, since she was puffed up with vanity, so she held a grudge, and later killed many pious disciples of the Buddha. True, Unconditional love is not easy,is it? To be kind and gentle to lovable beings is easy enough, to be averse to wicked or ugly individuals is only natural, but to be detached and truely compassionate takes something special. All good people want to be loving and kind, yet they are not always able to manage it. Reasons for Disputes In the Sakkapanha Sutta, the king of the Gods, asked the buddha about this dilemma, saying; " Lord, all living beings wish to be free from danger and ill-will. They do not wish to quarrel or to be ill- treated, and pray for happiness, security, peace, and freedom. Yet they asre not free from danger and suffering. What is the reason for this? The buddha replied that the cause for this unfortunate situation was the existence of envy and meanness. Sakka then asked, " What is the cause of envy and meanness? " and the discussion continued as follows: " Envy and meanness are caused objects of love and hatred " "Love and hatred arise from craving " " Craving arises from discursive thinking " " Discursive thinking is due to perception that tends to expand or diffuse." "What is the way leading to the cessation of the tendency to expand and disfused? "asked Sakka. The Buddha answered ; " Sakka, there are two kinds of happiness: one should be pursued, the other should not. Likewise, there are two kind of unhappiness, and two kinds of neutral feeling. Whatever happiness leads to the increase of wholesome qualities or the decrease of unwholesome qualities, that should be pursued. Whatever happiness leads to the increase of unwholesome qualities or the decrease opf wholesome qualities, that shouls not be puesued. Happiness may be accompanied by applied and discursive thought, or without such thought. Of these two. the latter is far superior. Similarly with unhappiness and neutral feelings. This is the way leading to the cessation of the tedency to expand and diffuse."! Living in Harmony Therefore,if we want to live happily, without quarrels and resentment, we should practise meditation to overcome the tendency to thinking that leads to unwholesome states of mind. Simply put, we should learn to still the mind, to abandon thinking and theory. views and opinions, and to cultivate bare awareness and objectivity. If awareness is sharp and penetrating we will no longer be at the mercy of our emotions, which are powered by habititual thinking, prejudice, opinions, and wrong views ( especially personality view). Bare awareness is synonymous with mindfulness medition, or insight meditation.Thus, we must learn to be mindful of each and every mental and physical phenomena arising throughout thw whole day without missing anything. Only this will purify the mind , and only mental purity will enable us to live happily without quarrelling and ill- will. When the mind is purified to a great extent by insight meditation, unconditional love will be spontaneous and natural. Three White Lies The words " I LOVE YOU " mean so much, but how many people have been led astray by hearing those three words?