Becoming A Buddhist ( Part 12/12 )

Becoming a Buddhist

How do I become a Buddhist ?
If I've done this and find the Teaching acceptable, what do I do to become a Buddhist ?
What are the Three Refuges ?
What changes have taken place in your life since you first took the refuges ?
I'm being pressured by a friend to convert to a religion. What should I do ?
But he says he wants to share his religion with me ?
So how can I stop him ?
Should Buddhists try to share the Dhamma with others ?

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What you say so far is very interesting to me. How do I become a Buddhist?

Once there was a man called Upali. He was the follower of another religion and he went to the Buddha in order to argue with him and try to convert him. But after talking to the Buddha, he was so impressed that he decided to become a follower of the Buddha. But the Buddha said:
"Make a proper investigation first. Proper investigation is good for a well-known person like yourself."
"Now I am even more pleased and satisfied when the Lord says to me: 'Make a proper investigation first.' For if members of another religion had secured me as a discipline they would have paraded a banner all around the town saying: 'Upali has joined our religion.' But the Lord says to me: Make a proper investigation first. Proper investigation is good for a well-known person like yourself."
In Buddhism, understanding is the most important thing and understanding takes time. So do not impulsively rush into Buddhism. Take your time, ask questions, consider carefully, and then make your decision. The Buddha was not interested in having a large number of disciples. He was concerned that people should follow his teachings as a result of a careful investigation and consideration of the facts.

If I have done this and find the Buddha's teaching acceptable, what would I do then if I wanted to become a Buddhist?

If would be best to join a good temple or Buddhist group, support them, be supported by them and continue to learn more about the Buddha's teachings. Then, when you are ready, you would formally become a Buddhist by taking the Three Refuges.

What are the Three Refuges?

A refuge is a place where people go when they are distressed or when they need safety and security. There are many types of refuges. When people are unhappy, they take refuge with their friends, when they are worried and frightened, they may take refuge in false hopes and beliefs. As they approach death, they might take refuge in the belief in an eternal heaven. But, as the Buddha says, none of these are true refuges because they do not give comfort and security based on reality.
Truly these are not safe refuges,not the refuge supreme.Not the refuge whereby one isfreed from all sorrow.
But to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sanghaand to see with real understandingthe Four Noble Truths.
Suffering, the cause of suffering,the transcending of suffering andthe Noble Eightfold Path that leadsto the transcending of suffering.
This indeed is a safe refuge,it is the refuge supreme.It is the refuge whereby one isfreed from all suffering.
Taking Refuge in the Buddha is a confident acceptance of the fact that one can become fully enlightened of the fact that one can become fully enlightened and perfected just as the Buddha was. Taking Refuge in the Dhamma means understanding the Four Noble Truths and basing one's life on the Noble Eightfold Path. Taking Refuge in the Sangha means looking for support, inspiration and guidance from all who walk the Noble Eightfold Path. Doing this one becomes a Buddhist and thus takes the first step on the path towards Nirvana.

What changes have taken place in your life since you first took the three refuges?

Like countless millions of others over the last 2500 years, I have found that the Buddha's teachings have made sense out of a difficult world, they have given meaning to what was a senseless life, they have given me a humane and compassionate ethics with which to lead my life and they have shown me how I can attain a state of purity and perfection in the next life. A poet in ancient India once wrote of the Buddha:
To go to him for refuge, to sing his praise, to do him honour and to abide in his Dhamma is to act with understanding.
I agree with these words completely.

I have a friend who is always trying to convert me to his religion. I am not really interested in his religion and I have told him so but he won't leave me alone. What can I do?

The first thing you must understand is that this person is not really your friend. A true friend accepts you as you are and respects your wishes. I suspect that this person is merely pretending to be your friend so he can convert you. When people are trying to impose their will on you they are certainly not friends.

But he says he wants to share his religion with me.

Sharing your religion with others is a good thing. But I suggest that your friend doesn't know the difference between sharing and imposing. If I have an apple, I offer you half and you accept my offer, then I have shared with you. But if you say to me "Thank you, but I have already eaten" and I keep insisting that you take half the apple until you finally give in to my pressure, this can hardly be called sharing. People like your 'friend' try to disguise their bad behaviour by calling it 'sharing', 'love', or 'generosity', but by whatever name they call it, their behaviour is still just rude, bad manners and selfish.

So how can I stop him?

It is simple. Firstly, be clear in your mind what you want. Secondly, clearly and briefly tell him so. Thirdly, when he asks you questions like "What is your belief on this matter" or "Why don't you wish to come to the meeting with me", clearly, politely and persistently repeat your first statement. "Thank you for your invitation but I would rather not come"."Why not?""That is really my business. I would rather not come.""But there will be many interesting people there.""I am sure there will be but I would rather not come.""I am inviting you because I care about you.""I am glad you care about me but I would rather not come."If you clearly, patiently and persistently repeat yourself and refuse to allow him to get you involved in a discussion he will eventually give up. It is a shame that you have to do this, but it is very important for people to learn that they cannot impose their beliefs or wishes upon others.

Should Buddhists try to share the Dhamma with others?

Yes, they should. And I think most Buddhists understand the difference between sharing and imposing. If people ask you about Buddhism, tell them. You can even tell them about the Buddha's teachings without their asking. But if, by either their words or actions, they let you know that they are not interested, accept that and respect their wishes. It is also important to remember that you let people know about the Dhamma far more effectively through your actions than through preaching to them. Show people the Dhamma by always being considerate, kind, tolerant, upright and honest. Let the Dhamma shine forth through your speech and actions. If each of us, you and I, know the Dhamma thoroughly, practise it fully and share it generously with others, we can be of great benefit to ourselves and others also.

Buddhism And The God Idea ( Part 10/12 )

Buddhism and the god idea

Do Buddhist believe in god ?
But if there are no gods how did the universe get here ?
What does the Buddha say about the origin of the universe ?
You say there's no evidence for the existence of god. Explain miracles ?
But so many people believe in some form of god, it must be true ?
So if Buddhists don’t believe in gods, what do you believe in ?


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Do Buddhist believe in god?

No, we do not. There are several reasons for this. The Buddha, like modern sociologists and psychologists, believed that religious ideas and especially the god idea have their origin in fear. The Buddha says:
"Gripped by fear men go to the sacred mountains,sacred groves, sacred trees and shrines".
Dp 188
Primitive man found himself in a dangerous and hostile world, the fear of wild animals, of not being able to find enough food, of injury or disease, and of natural phenomena like thunder, lightning and volcanoes was constantly with him. Finding no security, he created the idea of gods in order to give him comfort in good times, courage in times of danger and consolation when things went wrong. To this day, you will notice that people become more religious at times of crises, you will hear them say that the belief in a god or gods gives them the strength they need to deal with life. You will hear them explain that they believe in a particular god because they prayed in time of need and their prayer was answered. All this seems to support the Buddha’s teaching that the god-idea is a response to fear and frustration. The Buddha taught us to try to understand our fears, to lessen our desires and to calmly and courageously accept the things we cannot change. He replaced fear, not with irrational belief but with rational understanding.
The second reason the Buddha did not believe in a god is because there does not seem to be any evidence to support this idea. There are numerous religions, all claiming that they alone have god’s words preserved in their holy book, that they alone understand god’s nature, that their god exists and that the gods of other religions do not. Some claim that god is masculine, some that she is feminine and others that it is neuter. They are all satisfied that there is ample evidence to prove the existence of their god but they laugh in disbelief at the evidence other religions use to prove the existence of another god. It is not surprising that with so many different religions spending so many centuries trying to prove the existence of their gods that still no real, concrete, substantial or irrefutable evidence has been found. Buddhists suspend judgement until such evidence is forthcoming.
The third reason the Buddha did not believe in a god is that the belief is not necessary. Some claim that the belief in a god is necessary in order to explain the origin on the universe. But this is not so. Science has very convincingly explained how the universe came into being without having to introduce the god-idea. Some claim that belief in god is necessary to have a happy, meaningful life. Again we can see that this is not so. There are millions of atheists and free-thinkers, not to mention many Buddhists, who live useful, happy and meaningful lives without belief in a god. Some claim that belief in god’s power is necessary because humans, being weak, do not have the strength to help themselves. Once again, the evidence indicates the opposite. One often hears of people who have overcome great disabilities and handicaps, enormous odds and difficulties, through their own inner resources, through their own efforts and without belief in a god. Some claim that god is necessary in order to give man salvation. But this argument only holds good if you accept the theological concept of salvation and Buddhists do not accept such a concept. Based on his own experience, the Buddha saw that each human being had the capacity to purify the mind, develop infinite love and compassion and perfect understanding. He shifted attention from the heavens to the heart and encouraged us to find solutions to our problems through self-understanding.

But if there are no gods how did the universe get here?

All religions have myths and stories which attempt to answer this question. In ancient times, when many simply did not know, such myths were adequate, but in the 20th century, in the age of physics, astronomy and geology, such myths have been superseded by scientific fact. Science has explained the origin of the universe without recourse to the god-idea.

What does the Buddha say about the origin of the universe?

It is interesting that the Buddha’s explanation of the origin of the universe corresponds very closely to the scientific view. In the Aganna Sutta, the Buddha described the universe being destroyed and then re-evolving into its present form over a period of countless millions of years. The first life formed on the surface of the water and again, over countless millions of years, evolved from simple into complex organisms. All these processes are without beginning or end, and are set in motion by natural causes.

You say there is no evidence for the existence of a god. But what about miracles?

There are many who believe that miracles are proof of god’s existence. We hear wild claims that a healing has taken place but we never get an independent testimony from a medical office or a surgeon. We hear second-hand reports that someone was miraculously saved from disaster but we never get an eye-witness account of what is supposed to have happened. We hear rumours that prayer straightened a diseased body or strengthened a withered limb, but we never see X-rays or get comments from doctors or nurses. Wild claims, second-hand reports and rumours are no substitute for solid evidence and solid evidence of miracles is very rare.
However, sometimes unexplained things do happen, unexpected events do occur. But our inability to explain such things does not prove the existence of gods. It only proves that our knowledge is as yet incomplete. Before the development of modern medicine, when people didn’t know what caused sickness people believed that god or the gods sent diseases as a punishment. Now we know what causes such things and when we get sick, we take medicine. In time when our knowledge of the world is more complete, we will be able to understand what causes unexplained phenomena, just as we can now understand what causes disease.

But so many people believe in some form of god, it must be true.

Not so. There was a time when everyone believed that the world was flat, but they were all wrong. The number of people who believe in an idea is no measure of the truth or falsehood of that idea. The only way we can tell whether an idea is true or not is by looking at the facts and examining the evidence.

So if Buddhists don’t believe in gods, what do you believe in?

We don’t believe in a god because we believe in man. We believe that each human being is precious and important, that all have the potential to develop into a Buddha – a perfected human being. We believe that human beings can outgrow ignorance and irrationality and see things as they really are. We believe that hatred, anger, spite and jealousy can be replaced by love, patience, generosity and kindness. We believe that all this is within the grasp of each person if they make the effort, guided and supported by fellow Buddhists and inspired by the example of the Buddha. As the Buddha says:
"No one saves us but ourselves,No one can and no one may.We ourselves must walk the path, But Buddhas clearly show the way".

Wisdom And Compassion ( Part 9/12 )

Wisdom and Compassion

What do the terms, wisdom and compassion mean in Buddhism?
So what, according to Buddhism, is wisdom ?
What is the point of Buddhism if only a few can practice it?
What, according to Buddhism, is compassion ?
Isn't it selfish to help others after we have helped ourselves ?


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What do the terms wisdom and compassion mean in Buddhism?

Some religions believe that compassion or love (the two are very similar) is the most important spiritual quality but they fail to develop any wisdom. The result is that you end up being a good-hearted fool, a very kind person but with little or no understanding. Other systems of thought, like science, believe that wisdom can best be developed when all emotions, including compassion, are kept out of the way. The outcome of this is that science has tended to become preoccupied with results and has forgotten that science is to serve man, not to control and dominate him. How, otherwise could scientists have lent their skills to develop the nuclear bomb, germ warfare, and the like. Religion has always seen reason and wisdom as the enemy of emotions like love and faith. Science has always seen emotions like love and faith as being enemies of reason and objectivity. And of course, as science progresses, religion declines. Buddhism, on the other hand, teaches that to be a truly balanced and complete individual, you must develop both wisdom and compassion. And because it is not dogmatic but based on experience, Buddhism has nothing to fear from science.

So what, according to Buddhism, is wisdom?

The highest wisdom is seeing that in reality all phenomena are incomplete, impermanent, and not self. This understanding is totally freeing and leads to the great security and happiness which is called Nirvana. However, the Buddha doesn’t speak too much about this level of wisdom. It is not wisdom if we simply believe what we are told. True wisdom is to directly see and understand for ourselves. At this level then, wisdom is to keep an open mind rather than being closed-minded, listening to other points of view rather than being bigoted; to carefully examine facts that contradict our beliefs, rather than burying our heads in the sand; to be objective rather than prejudiced and partisan; to take time about forming our opinions and beliefs rather than just accepting the first or most emotional thing that is offered to us; and to always be ready to change our beliefs when facts that contradict them are presented to us. A person who does this is certainly wise and is certain to eventually arrive at true understanding. The path of just believing what you are told is easy. The Buddhist path requires courage, patience, flexibility and intelligence.

What is the point of Buddhism if only a few can practice it?

It is true that not everyone is ready for Buddhism yet. But to say therefore that we should teach a religion that is false but easily understandable so everyone can practise it is ridiculous. Buddhism aims at the truth and if not everyone has the capacity to understand it yet, they perhaps will be ready for it in their next life. However, there are many who, with just the right words or encouragement, are able to increases their understanding. And it is for this reason that Buddhists gently and quietly strive to share the insights of Buddhism with others. The Buddha taught us out of compassion and we teach others out of compassion.

What, according to Buddhism, is compassion?

Just as wisdom covers the intellectual or comprehending side of our nature. Like wisdom, compassion is uniquely human quality. Compassion is made up of two words. 'co' meaning together and 'passion' meaning a strong feeling. And this is what compassion is. When we see someone is in distress and we feel their pain as if it were our own, and strive to eliminate or lessen their pain, then this is compassion. So all the best in human beings, all the Buddha-like qualities like sharing, readiness to give comfort, sympathy, concern and caring - all are manifestations of compassion. You will notice also that in the compassionate person, care and love towards others has its origins in care and love for oneself. We can really understand others when we really understand ourselves. We will know what’s best for others when we know what’s best for ourselves. We can feel for others when we feel for ourselves. So in Buddhism, ones own spiritual development blossoms quite naturally into concern for the welfare of others. The Buddha’s life illustrates this very well. He spent six years struggling for his own welfare, after which, he was able to be of benefit to the whole of mankind.

Isn’t it selfish to say that we are best able to help others after we have helped ourselves?

We usually see altruism, concern for others before oneself, as being the opposite of selfishness, concern for oneself before others,. Buddhism does no see it as either one or the other but rather as a blending of the two. Genuine self-concern will gradually mature into concern for others as one sees that others are really the same as oneself. This is genuine compassion. Compassion is the most beautiful jewel in the crown of the Buddha’s teaching.

Good Luck And Fate ( Part 8/12 )

Good Luck and Fate

What did the Buddha teach about magic and fortune telling ?
Why do people sometimes practise such things and believe in them ?
But some lucky charms do work, don’t they ?
Then is there such a thing as luck ?

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What did the Buddha teach about magic and fortune telling?

The Buddha considered such practices as fortune telling, wearing magic charms for protection, finding lucky sites for buildings, prophesising and fixing lucky days to be useless superstitions and he expressly forbade his disciples to practise such things. He called all these things 'low arts'.
"Whereas some religious men, while living off food provided by the faithful make their living by such low arts, such wrong means of livelihood as palmistry, divining by signs, interpreting dreams, bringing about good or bad luck, picking the lucky site for a building, the monk Gotama refrains from such low arts, such wrong means of livelihood".

Then why do people sometimes practise such things and believe in them?

Because of greed, fear and ignorance. As soon as people understand the Buddha’s teachings, they realise that a pure heart can protect them much better than bits of paper, bits of metal and a few chanted words and they no longer rely on such things. In the teachings of the Buddha, it is honesty, kindness, understanding, patience, forgiveness, generosity, loyalty and other good qualities that truly protect you and give you true prosperity.

But some lucky charms do work, don’t they?

I know a person who makes a living selling lucky charms. He claims that his charms can give good luck, prosperity and he guarantees that you will be able to pick three numbers. But if what he says is true then why isn’t he himself a multi-millionaire? If his lucky charms really work, then why doesn’t he win the lottery week after week? The only luck he has is that there are people silly enough to buy his magic charms.

Then is there such a thing as luck?

The dictionary defines luck as 'believing that whatever happens, either good or bad, to a person in the course of events is due to chance, fate or fortune'. The Buddha denied this belief completely. Everything that happens has a specific cause or causes and there must be some relationships between the cause and the effect. Becoming sick, for example, has specific causes. One must come into contact with germs and one’s body must be weak enough for the germs to establish themselves. There is a definite relationship between the cause (germs and a weakened body) and the effect (sickness) because we know that germs attack the organisms and give rise to sickness. But no relationship can be found between wearing a piece of paper with words written on it and being rich or passing examinations. Buddhism teaches that whatever happens does so because of a cause or causes and not due to luck, chance or fate. People who are interested in luck are always trying to get something,usually more money and wealth. The Buddha teaches us that it is far more important to develop our hearts and minds. He says:
Being deeply learned and skilled; being well-trained and using well-spoken words - this is the best good luck. To support mother and father, to cherish wife and child and to have a simple livelihood - this is the best good luck.

Monks And Nuns ( Part 4/12 )

Monks and Nuns

What is the purpose of monks and nuns and what are they supposed to do ?
What kind of person becomes a monk or nun ?
Do you have to become a monk or nun to become enlightened ?
Why do Buddhist monks and nuns wear a yellow robe ?
What would happen if everyone became a monk ?
What good do they do to the community ?
I have heard that there are no more Buddhist nuns. Is this true ?

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The monastic institution is an important one in Buddhism. What is the purpose of monks and nuns and what are they supposed to do?

The Buddha's purpose in founding an order of monks and nuns was to provide an environment in which spiritual development would be easier. The lay community provide monks and nuns with their basic needs - food, clothing, shelter, and medicine - so they can devote their time to the study and practice of the Dhamma. The ordered and simple lifestyle of the monastery is conducive to inner peace and meditation. In return, monks and nuns are expected to share what they know with the community and act as an example of how the good Buddhist should live. In actual practice this basic mission has sometimes been extended far beyond what the Buddha originally intended and today monks and nuns sometimes act as school teachers, social workers, artists, doctors, even politicians. Some have argued that taking such roles is alright if it helps promote Buddhism. Others point out that by doing such things monks and nuns too easily get entangled in worldly problems and forget the purpose they went to the monastery in the first place.

What kind of person becomes a monk or a nun?

Most people have a variety of interests in their lives - family, career, hobbies, politics, religion etc. Of these interests one will be primary, usually family or career, while the others will be less important to them. When the study and practice of the Buddha's teachings becomes the most important thing in the person's life, when that takes precedence over all other things, then that person will probably be interested in becoming a monk or a nun.

Do you have to be a monk or a nun to become enlightened?

Of course not. Some of the Buddha's most accomplished disciples were lay men and women. Some were spiritually developed enough to instruct the monks. In Buddhism the level of one's understanding is the most important thing and that has nothing to do with whether one wears a yellow robe or blue jeans, or whether one lives in a monastery or a home. Some might find the monastery, with all its advantages and disadvantages to be the best environment in which to spiritually grow. Others may find the home, with all its joys and sorrows, to be the best. Everyone is different.

Why do Buddhist monks and nuns wear a yellow robe?

When the ancient Indians looked into the jungle they could always tell which leaves were about to drop from the tree, because they were either yellow, orange or brown. Consequently, in India, yellow became the colour of renunciation. Monks and nuns robes are yellow so they can act as a constant reminder of the importance of not clinging, of letting go, of giving up.

Becoming a monk is all very well but what would happen if everyone became a monk?

One could ask the same thing about any vocation. "Becoming a dentist is all very well but what would happen if everyone became a dentist? There'd be no teachers, no cooks, no taxi drivers." "Becoming a teacher is all very well but what would happen if everyone became a teacher? There'd be no dentists, etc. etc." The Buddha did not suggest that everyone should become a monk or nun and indeed that is never going to happen. However, there will always be people who are attracted to the life of simplicity and renunciation and who take delight in the Buddha's teaching above all else. And like dentists and teachers they have special skills and knowledge that can be helpful to the community in which they live.

That might be so with those who teach or write books. But what about the monks and nuns who do nothing but meditate. What good are they to the community?

You might compare the hermit monk to the research scientist. Society supports the research scientist as he sits in his laboratory conducting experiments because it hopes that he will eventually discover or invent something that will be for the general good. Likewise the Buddhist community supports the meditating monk (and his needs are very meagre) because it hopes that he will attain wisdom and insights that will be for the general good. But even before this happens or even if it doesn't, the meditating monk can still benefit others. In some modern societies it is 'The Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous', with its extravagance, its conspicuous consumption and its self-indulgence which is held up as the ideal to follow, or at least to envy. The example that the meditating monk sets reminds us that one doesn't have to be rich to be content. It shows us that the gentle and simple lifestyle has its advantages too.

I have heard that there are no more Buddhist nuns. Is this true?

The Buddha founded the order of nuns in his lifetime and for five or six hundred years nuns played an important role in the spread and development of Buddhism. But for reasons that are not clear nuns never commanded the same esteem and consequently got the same support, as monks and in India and South-east Asia the order died out. However in Taiwan, Korea and Japan the order of nuns has continued to flourish. Today in Sri Lanka and Thailand steps are being taken to reintroduce the order of nuns from Taiwan although some traditionalists are not very enthusiastic about this. However, in keeping with the Buddha's original intentions, it is only right that women as well as men have the opportunity to live the monastic life and benefit from it.

The Buddhist Scriptures ( Part 3/12 )

The Buddhist Scriptures

All religions have holy writings, what is the Buddhist holy book?
What does the Tipitaka mean ?
If the scriptures were memorised for so long - are they reliable ?
How important are the scriptures to Buddhist ?
Before you mentioned the Dhammapada. What is it ?
I've been told that you should never put a scriptural book on the floor ?
I find it difficult to read the scriptures - they are long and repetitious ?

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Nearly all religions have some kind of holy writings or Bible. What is the Buddhist holy book?

The sacred book of Buddhism is called the Tipitaka. It is written in an ancient Indian language called Pali which is very close to the language that the Buddha himself spoke. The Tripitaka is a very large book. The English translation of it takes up nearly forty volumes.

What does the name Tipitaka mean?

It is made up of two words, ti means 'three' and pitaka means 'baskets'. The first part of the name refers to the fact that the Buddhist scriptures consist of three sections. The first section, called the Sutta Pitaka, contains all the Buddha's discourses as well as some by his enlightened disciples. The type of material in the Sutta Pitaka is very diverse which allows it to communicate the truths that the Buddha taught to all different types of people. Many of the Buddha's discourses are in the form of sermons while others are in the form of dialogues. Other parts like the Dhammapada present the Buddha's teachings through the medium of poetry. The Jatakas, to take another example, consist of delightful stories in which the main characters are often animals. The second section of the Tipitaka is called the Vinaya Pitaka. This contains the rules for monks and nuns, advice on monastic administration and procedure and the early history of the monastic order. The last section is called the Abhidhamma Pitaka. This is a complex and sophisticated attempt to analyse and classify all the constituents that make up the individual. Although the Abhidhamma is somewhat later than the first two sections of the Tipitaka it contains nothing that contradicts them.
Now for the word pitaka. In ancient India construction workers used to move building materials from one place to another by means of a relay of baskets. They would put the baskets on their heads, walk some distance to the next worker, pass it to him, and he would repeat the process. Writing was known in the Buddha's time but as a medium it was considered less reliable than human memory. A book could rot in the monsoon damp or be eaten by white ants but a person's memory could last as long as they lived. Consequently, monks and nuns committed all the Buddha's teachings to memory and passed it on to each other just as construction workers passed earth and bricks to each other in baskets. This is why the three sections of the Buddhist scriptures are called baskets. After being preserved in this manner for several hundred years the Tipitaka was finally written down in about 100 B.C. in Sri Lanka.

If the scriptures were preserved in memory for so long they must be very unreliable. Much of the Buddha's teachings could have been lost or changed?

The preservation of the scriptures was a joint effort by the community of monks and nuns. They would meet together at regular intervals and chant parts or all of the Tipitaka. This made it virtually impossible for anything to be added or changed. Think of it like this. If a group of a hundred people know a song by heart and while they are all singing it one gets a verse wrong or tries to insert a new verse, what will happen? The sheer number of those who know the song correctly will prevent the odd one making any changes. It is also important to remember that in those days there were no T.V.'s, newspapers or advertising to distract and clutter the mind which together with the fact that monks and nuns meditated, meant that they had extremely good memories. Even today, long after books have come into use, there are still monks who can recite the whole Tipitaka by heart. Mengong Sayadaw of Burma is able to do this and he is mentioned in the Guinness Book of Records as having the world's best memory.

How important are the scriptures to Buddhists?

Buddhists do not consider the Tipitaka to be a divine, infallible revelation from a god, every word of which we must believe. Rather, it is a record of the teachings of a great man that offers explanations, advice, guidance and encouragement and which we should read thoughtfully and respectfully. Our aim should be to understand what the Tipitaka teaches, not just believe it and thus what the Buddha says should always be checked against our experience.

Before you mentioned the Dhammapada. What is it?

The Dhammapada is one of the smallest works in the first sections of the Tipitaka. The name could be translated as 'The Way of Truth' or 'Verses of Truth'. It consists of 423 verses, some pithy, some profound, some containing appealing similes, some of considerable beauty, all spoken by the Buddha. Consequently the Dhammapada is the most popular piece of Buddhist literature. It has been translated into most major languages and is recognised as one of the masterpieces of world religious literature.

Someone told me that you should never put a book of the scriptures on the floor or under your arm, but that it should always be placed in a high place. Is this true?

Until recently in Buddhist countries as in medieval Europe, books were rare and valuable objects. Therefore the scriptures were always treated with great respect and some of the customs you have mentioned are examples of this. However, while customs and traditional practices are alright, most people today would agree that the best way to respect the Buddhist scriptures would be to practice the teachings they contain.

I find it difficult to read the Buddhist scriptures. They seem to be long, repetitious and boring.

When we pick up a religious scripture we expect to read words of exaltations, joy or praise that will uplift and inspire us. Consequently, someone reading the Buddhist scriptures is likely to be a bit disappointed. While some of the Buddha's discourses contain considerable charm and beauty most resemble philosophical thesis with definitions of terms, carefully reasoned arguments, detailed advice on conduct or meditation and precisely stated truths. They are meant to appeal to the intellect, not the emotions. When we stop comparing the Buddhist scriptures to those of other religions we will see that they have their own kind of beauty - the beauty of clarity, of depth and of wisdom.

Basic Buddhist Concepts ( Part 2/12 )

Basic Buddhist Concepts

What are the main teachings of the Buddha ?
What is the First Noble Truth ?
Isn't this a bit pessimistic ?
What is the Second Noble Truth?
But how does wanting and craving lead to physical suffering ?
But if we stop wanting altogether, we would never achieve anything ?
What is the Third Noble Truth ?
What or where is Nirvana ?
But is there any proof that such a dimension exist ?
What is the Fourth Noble Truth ?

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What are the main teachings of the Buddha?

All of the many teachings of the Buddha centre on the Four Noble Truths, just as the rim and spokes of a wheel centres on the hub. They are called 'Four' because there are four of them. They are called 'Noble' because they ennoble one who understands them and they are called 'Truths' because, corresponding with reality, they are true.

What is the First Noble Truth?

The First Noble Truth is that life is suffering. To live, you must suffer. It is impossible to live without experiencing some kind of suffering. We have to endure physical suffering like sickness, injury, tiredness, old age and eventually death and we have to endure psychological suffering like loneliness, frustrations, fear, embarrassment, disappointment, anger, etc.

Isn't this a bit pessimistic?

The dictionary defines pessimism as 'the habit of thinking that whatever will happen will be bad,' 'or 'The belief that evil is more powerful than good.' Buddhism teaches neither of these ideas. Nor does it deny that happiness exists. It simply says that to live is to experience physical and psychological suffering which is a statement that is so obvious that it cannot be denied. The central concept of most religions is a myth, a legend or a belief that is difficult or impossible to verify. Buddhism starts with an experience, an irrefutable fact, a thing that all know, that all have experienced and that all are striving to overcome. Thus Buddhism is truly a universal religion because it goes right to the core of every individual human being's concern with suffering and how to avoid it.

What is the Second Noble Truth?

The Second Noble Truth is that all suffering is caused by craving. When we look at psychological suffering, it is easy to see how it is caused by craving. When we want something but are unable to get it, we feel frustrated. When we expect someone to live up to our expectation and they do not, we feel let down and disappointed. When we want others to like us and they don't, we feel hurt. Even when we want something and are able to get it, this does not often lead to happiness either because it is not long before we feel bored with that thing, lose interest in it and commence to want something else.
Put simply, the Second Noble Truth says that getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness.

But how does wanting and craving lead to physical suffering?

A lifetime wanting and craving for this and that and especially the craving to continue to exist creates a powerful energy that causes the individual to be reborn. When we are reborn, we have a body and, as we said before, the body is susceptible to injury and disease; it can be exhausted by work; it ages and eventually dies. Thus, craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn.

If we stop wanting altogether, we would never achieve anything.

True. But what the Buddha says is that when our desires, our craving, our constant discontent with what we have and our continual longing for more and more does cause us suffering,then we should stop doing it. He asks us to make a difference between what we need and what we want and to strive for our needs and modify our wants. He tells us that our needs can be fulfilled but that our wants are endless - a bottomless pit. There are needs that are essential, fundamental and can be obtained and this we should work towards. Desires beyond this should be gradually lessened. After all, what is the purpose of life? To get or be content and happy.

What is the Third Noble Truth?

The Third Noble Truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness attained. This is perhaps the most important of the Four Noble Truths because in it the Buddha reassures us that true happiness and contentment are possible. When we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time, enjoying without restlessly wanting the experiences that life offers us, patiently enduring the problems that life involves, without fear, hatred and anger, then we become happy and free. Then, and then only, do we begin to live fully. Because we are no longer obsessed with satisfying our own selfish wants, we find that we have so much time to help others fulfil their needs. This state is called Nirvana. We are free from psychological suffering.

What or where is Nirvana?

It is a dimension transcending time and space and thus is difficult to talk about or even think about. Words and thoughts being only suited to describe the time-space dimension. But because Nirvana is beyond time, there is no movement and so no aging or dying. Thus Nirvana is eternal because it is beyond space, there is no causation, no boundary, no concept of self and not-self and thus Nirvana is infinite. The Buddha also assures us that Nirvana is an experience of great happiness. He says:
Nirvana is the highest happiness.
Dhammapada 204

But is there proof that such a dimension exist?

No, there is not. But its existence can be inferred. If there is a dimension where time and space do operate and there is such a dimension - the world we experience, then we can infer that there is a dimension where time and space do not operate - Nirvana. Again, even though we cannot prove Nirvana exists, we have the Buddha's word that it does exist. He tells us:
"There is an unborn, a not-become, a not- made, a not-compounded. If there were not, this unborn, not-made, not-compounded, there could not be made any escape from what is born, become, made, and compounded. Therefore is there made known an escape from what is born, made, and compounded."
Ud 80
We will know it when we attain it. Until that time, we can practise.

What is the Fourth Noble Truth?

The Fourth Noble Truth is the Path leading to the overcoming of suffering. This path is called the Noble Eightfold Path and consists of Perfect Understanding, Perfect Thought, Perfect Speech, Perfect Action, Perfect Livelihood, Perfect Effort, Perfect Mindfulness, and Perfect Concentration. Buddhist practice consist of practising these eight things until they become more complete. You will notice that the steps on the Noble Eightfold Path cover every aspect of life: the intellectual, the ethical and economic and the psychological and therefore contains everything a person needs to lead a good life and to develop spiritually.

What Is Buddhism ? ( Part 1/12 )

What is Buddhism?
· What is Buddhism ?
· So Buddhism is just a philosophy ?
· Who was the Buddha ?
· The Buddha is dead so how can he help us ?
· Was the Buddha a god ?
· If he is not a god, then why do people worship him ?
· But I have heard people say that Buddhist worship idols ? · Why do people do all kinds of strange things in Buddhist temples ?
· If Buddhism is so good why are some Buddhist countries so poor ?
· Why is it that you don’t hear of Buddhist doing charitable work ?
· Why are there so many different types of Buddhism ?
· I suppose you think Buddhism is right and all others are wrong ?
· Is Buddhism scientific ?

..........................................

What is Buddhism?

The name Buddhism comes from the word 'budhi' which means 'to wake up' and thus Buddhism is the philosophy of awakening. This philosophy has its origins in the experience of the man Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, who was himself awakened at the age of 35. Buddhism is now 2,500 years old and has about 300 million followers worldwide. Until a hundred years ago Buddhism was mainly an Asian philosophy but increasingly it is gaining adherents in Europe, Australia and America.

So Buddhism is just a philosophy?

The word philosophy comes from two words 'philo' which means 'love' and 'sophia' which means 'wisdom'. So philosophy is the love of wisdom or love and wisdom, both meanings describe Buddhism perfectly. Buddhism teaches that we should try to develop our intellectual capacity to the fullest so that we can understand clearly. It also teaches us to develop love and kindness so that we can be like a true friend to all beings. So Buddhism is a philosophy but not just a philosophy. It is the supreme philosophy.

Who was the Buddha?

In the year 563 B.C. a baby was born into a royal family in northern India. He grew up in wealth and luxury but eventually found that worldly comforts and security do not guarantee happiness. He was deeply moved by the suffering he saw all around and resolved to find the key to human happiness. When he was 29 he left his wife and child and set off to sit at the feet of the great religious teachers of the day to learn from them. They taught him much but none really knew the cause of human suffering and how it could be overcome. Eventually, after six years study and meditation he had an experience in which all ignorance fell away and he suddenly understood.
From that day onwards, he was called the Buddha, the Awakened One. He lived for another 45 years in which time he travelled all over the northern India teaching others what he had discovered. His compassion and patience were legendary and he had thousands of followers. In his eightieth year, old and sick, but still happy and at peace, he finally died.
The Buddha is dead so how can he help us?

Faraday, who discovered electricity, is dead, but what he discovered still helps us. Luis Pasteur who discovered the cures for so many diseases is dead, but his medical discoveries still save lives. Leonardo da Vinci who created masterpieces of art is dead, but what he created can still uplift and give joy. Noble men and heroes may have been dead for centuries but when we read of their deeds and achievements, we can still be inspired to act as they did. Yes, the Buddha is dead but 2500 years later his teachings still help people, his example still inspires people, his words still change lives. Only a Buddha could have such power centuries after his death.



Was the Buddha a god?

No, he was not. He did not claim that he was a god, the child of a god or even the messenger from a god. He was a man who perfected himself and taught that if we follow his example, we could perfect ourselves also.

If the Buddha is not a god, then why do people worship him?

There are different types of worship. When someone worships a god, they praise him or her, making offerings and ask for favours, believing that the god will hear their praise, receive their offerings and answer their prayers. Buddhists do not indulge in this kind of worship. The other kind of worship is when we show respect to someone or something we admire. When a teacher walks into a room we stand up, when we meet a dignitary we shake hands,when the national anthem is played we salute. These are all gestures of respect and worship and indicate our admiration for persons and things. This is the type of worship Buddhist practise. A statue of the Buddha with its hands rested gently in its lap and its compassionate smile reminds us to strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. The perfume of incense reminds us of the pervading influence of virtue, the lamp reminds us of light of knowledge and the flowers which soon fade and die, reminds us of impermanence. When we bow, we express our gratitude to the Buddha for what his teachings have given us. This is the nature of Buddhist worship.

But I have heard people say that Buddhists worship idols.

Such statements only reflect the misunderstanding of the persons who make them. The dictionary defines an idol as "an image or statue worshipped as a god". As we have seen, Buddhist do not believe that the Buddha was a god, so how could they possibly believe that a piece of wood or metal is a god? All religions use symbols to express various concepts. In Taoism, the ying-yang is used to symbolise the harmony between opposites. In Sikhism, the sword is used to symbolise spiritual struggle. In Christianity, the fish is used to symbolise his sacrifice. And in Buddhism, the statue of the Buddha also reminds us of the human dimension in Buddhist teaching, the fact that Buddhism is man-centred, not god-centred, that we must look within not without to find perfection and understanding. So to say that Buddhist worship idols is not correct.

Why do people burn paper money and do all kinds of strange things in Buddhist temples?

Many things seem strange to us when we don't understand them. Rather than dismiss such things as strange, we should strive to find their meaning. However, it is true that Buddhist practice sometimes has its origin in popular superstition and misunderstanding rather than the teaching of the Buddha. And such misunderstandings are not found in Buddhism alone, but arise in all religions from time to time. The Buddha taught with clarity and in detail and if some fail to understand fully, the Buddha cannot be blamed.


There is a saying:
If a man suffering from a disease does not seek treatment even when there is a physician at hand, it is not the fault of the physician. In the same way, if a man is oppressed and tormented by the disease of defilements but does not seek the help of the Buddha, that is not the Buddha's fault.
JN 28-9
Nor should Buddhism or any religion be judged by those who don't practise it properly. If you wish to know the true teachings of Buddhism, read the Buddha's words or speak to those who understand them properly.

If Buddhism is so good why are some Buddhist countries poor?

If by poor you mean economically poor, then it is true that some Buddhist countries are poor. But if by poor you mean a poor quality of life, then perhaps some Buddhist countries are quite rich. America, for example, is an economically rich and powerful country but the crime rate is one of the highest in the world, millions of old people are neglected by their children and die of loneliness in old people's homes, domestic violence and child abuse are major problems. One in three marriages end in divorce, pornography is easily available. Rich in terms of money but perhaps poor in terms of the quality of life. Now if you look at some traditional Buddhist countries you find a very different situation. Parents are honoured and respected by their children, the crime rates are relatively low, divorce and suicide are rare and traditional values like gentleness, generosity, hospitality to strangers, tolerance and respect for others are still strong. Economically backward, but perhaps a higher quality of life than a country like America. But even if we judge Buddhist countries in terms of economics alone, one of the wealthiest and most economically dynamic countries in the world today is Japan where 93% of the population call themselves Buddhist.

Why is it that you don't often hear of charitable work being done by Buddhists?

Perhaps it is because Buddhists don't feel the need to boast about the good they do. Several years ago the Japanese Buddhist leader Nikkho Nirwano received the Templeton Prize for his work in promoting inter-religious harmony. Likewise a Thai Buddhist monk was recently awarded the prestigious Magsaysay Prize for his excellent work among drug addicts. In 1987 another Thai monk, Ven.Kantayapiwat was awarded the Norwegian Children's Peace Prize for his many years work helping homeless children in rural areas. And what about the large scale social work being done among the poor in India by the Western Buddhist Order? They have built schools, child minding-centres, dispensaries and small scale industries for self-sufficiency. Buddhist see help given to others as an expression of their religious practice just as other religions do but they believe that it should be done quietly and without self-promotion. Thus you don't hear so much about their charitable work.



Why are there so many different types of Buddhism?

There are many different types of sugar: brown sugar, white sugar, rock sugar, syrup and icing sugar but it is all sugar and it all tastes sweet. It is produced in different forms so that it can be used in different ways. Buddhism is the same: there is Theravada Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Pure Land Buddhism, Yogacara Buddhism and Vajrayana Buddhism but it is all Buddhism and it all has the same taste - the taste of freedom. Buddhism has evolved into different forms so that it can be relevant to the different cultures in which it exists. It has been reinterpreted over the centuries so that it can remain relevant to each new generation. Outwardly, the types of Buddhism may seem very different but at the centre of all of them is the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. All major religions, Buddhism included, have split into schools and sects. But the different sects of Buddhism have never gone to war with each other and to this day, they go to each other's temples and worship together. Such tolerance and understanding is certainly rare.

I suppose you think your religion is right and all others are wrong.

No Buddhist who understands the Buddha's teaching thinks that other religions are wrong. No-one who has made a genuine effort to examine other religions with an open mind could think like that either. The first thing you notice when you study the different religions is just how much they have in common. All religions acknowledge that man's present state is unsatisfactory. All believe that a change of attitude and behaviour is needed if man's situation is to improve. All teach an ethics that includes love, kindness, patience, generosity and social responsibility and all accept the existence of some form of Absolute.
They use different languages, different names and different symbols to describe and explain these things; and it is only when they narrow- mindedly cling to their one way of seeing things that religious tolerance, pride and self-righteousness arise.
Imagine an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Chinese and an Indonesian all looking at a cup. The Englishman says, "That is a cup." The Frenchman answers, "No it's not. It's a tasse." The Chinese comments, "You are both wrong. It's a pei." And the Indonesian laughs at the others and says "What a fool you are. It's a cawan." The Englishman get a dictionary and shows it to the others saying, "I can prove that it is a cup. My dictionary says so." "Then your dictionary is wrong," says the Frenchman "because my dictionary clearly says it is a tasse." The Chinese scoffs at them. "My dictionary is thousands of years older than yours, so my dictionary must be right. And besides, more people speak Chinese than any other language, so it must be pei." While they are squabbling and arguing with each other, a Buddhist comes up and drinks from the cup. After he has drunk, he says to the others, "Whether you call it a cup, a tasse, a pei or a cawan, the purpose of the cup is to be used. Stop arguing and drink, stop squabbling and refresh your thirst". This is the Buddhist attitude to other religions.



Is Buddhism scientific?

Before we answer that question it would be best to define the word 'science'. Science, according to the dictionary is: "knowledge which can be made into a system, which depends upon seeing and testing facts and stating general natural laws, a branch of such knowledge, anything that can be studied exactly". There are aspects of Buddhism that would not fit into this definition but the central teachings of Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths, most certainly would. Suffering, the First Noble Truth, is an experience that can be defined, experienced and measured. The Second Noble Truth states that suffering has a natural cause, craving,which likewise can be defined, experienced and measured. No attempted is made to explain suffering in terms of a metaphysical concept or myths. Suffering is ended, according to the Third Noble Truth, not by relying on upon a supreme being, by faith or by prayers but simply by removing its cause. This is axiomatic. The Fourth Noble Truth, the way to end suffering, once again, has nothing to do with metaphysics but depends on behaving in specific ways. And once again behaviour is open to testing. Buddhism dispenses with the concept of a supreme being, as does science, and explains the origins and workings of the universe in terms of natural law. All of this certainly exhibits a scientific spirit. Once again, the Buddha's constant advice that we should not blindly believe but rather question, examine, inquire and rely on our own experience, has a definite scientific ring to it. He says:
"Do not go by revelation or tradition,do not go by rumour, or the sacred scriptures, do not go by hearsay or mere logic, do not go by bias towards a notion or by another person's seeming ability and do not go by the idea 'He is our teacher'. But when you yourself know that a thing is good, that it is not blameble, that it is praised by the wise and when practised and observed that it leads to happiness, then follow that thing."
So we could say that although Buddhism in not entirely scientific, it certainly has a strong overtone and is certainly more scientific than any other religion. It is significant that Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist of the twentieth century said of Buddhism:
"The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology. Covering both natural and spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual and a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism."

Concept Of Friendship (In Buddhism) By Sita Arunthavanathan

Concept Of Friendship (In Buddhism) By Sita Arunthavanathan

Some critics have a tendency to label Buddhism as a religion with supra-mundane goals, devoid of the concept of love and friendship for living in this world. But the Tripitaka furnishes us with ample evidence to prove that the Buddha considered living in harmony and friendship without disputes (Samagga Sammodamana avivadamana) an important human relationship based on love. Metta or Loving Kindness envelopes much more than mere love. Etymologically the word Metta means the nature of a friend - (mittassa sabhavo).
In other words, a friendly spirit which is edified, not only on love, but on loving kindness. In modern parlance, the word "love" has rather a cheap connotation, but Metta when taken in its real perspective encapsulates all the noble human feelings a person could shower on another." Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Muditha (altruistic joy) and Upeksha (equanimity), which are known as Satara Brahma Vihara or the Four Noble patterns of behaviour form the very sheet anchor of Buddhist friendly, ethical conduct. The spirit of love and friendship promulgated by these, cover a much wider spectrum than mere love, which is supposed to be lacking in Buddhism.
It is mentioned in Samyutta Nikaya that once Ven. Ananda approached the Buddha and remarked that "half of the dispensation is based on friendship, companionship and association with the good." to which the Buddha replied " Ven. Ananda, do not say so. Not half, but man's entire life is established on friendship, companionship and association with the good."The friendly disposition among the Bhikkus towards each other was so admirable and imitable that King Ajatasattu who was not so well disposed towards Buddhism had remarked according to Samananaphala Sutta of the Digha Nikaya that "the monks lived in unity talking to each other with mutual friendliness ..... mixing with each other like milk and water and seeing each other with pleasing eyes." (Nirodha Ki Dhuta annamannam Piya Cakkhuhi Sampassamana) and had even gone further and said, "How nice it would be if my son Udayabhadda too could possess these friendly qualities."
Again, it occurs in Majjhima Nikaya that once the Buddha questioned Ven. Anuruddha how the Bhikkhus were getting along with each other, and the Venerable replied thus, "Lord, we have diverse bodies but assuredly only one mind." (Na na hi kho pan a bhante kayam ekam ca kho manne cittam).


Two types of friends

As far as the laity is concerned, the Tipitaka abounds with examples to show that the guidance of good friends is very essential for life here and hereafter. The Buddha has described two types of friends, Kalyana Mitta (the good friend) and Papa Mitta (the evil friend). A famous stanza in the Dhammapada says, "Do not keep company with evil friends or those who are mean. Associate with the good and bold friends." (Na bhaje papake mitte-na bhaje purisadhame, bhajetha mitta kalyane-bhajetha purisuttame). All parents should instil into the minds of their children the noble advice conveyed by this stanza. The Buddha has advised us to lead a lonely life in case we cannot find a decent friend. But never keep the company of a fool. (eka cariyam dalham kariya-natthi balo sahayaka). Mahamangala Sutra which enumerates 38 blessings to guide one in life's journey starts with avoiding the company of fools as the first blessing.
Friendship is a force that has no parallel; there is no other single power that can generate good qualities in a person as friendship with the good because, after a certain age children stop emulating their parents and start imitating their friends.
The Buddha's advice regarding friends could be well comprehended by absorbing the contents of the Sigalovada Sutra. Sigala, who had very devout Buddhist parents was indifferent to religion. The Buddha explained inter alia who an evil friend and a good friend are:- A foe in the guise of a friend or a Papa Mitta will appropriate a friend's possessions, render mere lip service, flatter, will give little with the idea of taking much, will associate for his own advantage, tries to gain favour by empty words and when the opportunity arises for action, he will give an excuse and express his inability to render any service. An evil friend also praises and approves his friends bad deeds whlle the good deeds go unnoticed and upraised. He praises the friend in his presence and rebukes him in his absence.
The Buddha has explained further how a foe in the guise of a friend (mitta patirupaka) brings about the ruin of a person in four ways. He is a companion in indulging in intoxicants which gives rise to infatuation and heedlessness. He is a ready companion to frequent the streets at ungodly hours. He is a companion to attend theatrical shows and he is a companion in gambling which causes one's downfall.
Next, the Buddha tells Sigala the four types of friends who could be reckoned as warmhearted and dear. He who is a helpmate, does not change in happiness or sorrow, gives good counsel and sympathizes. Upakaro ca ya mitto-yo ca mitto sukhe dukkhe dtthakkhayi ca yo mitto-ya ca-mittanukampike." A wise person having understood these four kinds of friends, should cherish them and associate with them as a mother tends her only son. (etepi mitte cattaro-Iti vinnaya pandita, sakkaccani payiru paseyya Mata puttamva orasam).
According to Nettippakarana there are seven qualities by which you can judge a friend. He should be pleasant and loveable, respectful, worthy of emulation, willing to engage in useful conversation, willing to tolerate words, engages in profound talk and never exhorts groundlessly. Today, the younger generation have a tendency to shun good advice and show resentment when their faults are pointed out by even parents. A stanza in the Dhammapada spells out a bit of excellent advice. "Someone who points out your mistakes, declare them as weaknesses and condemns them, think of such a person as one showing you a treasure. Associate with wise people of that nature. (midhinam va pavattaram-yam passe vajja dassinam; niggayhavadim medhavi tadisam pabditam bhaje). This shows that a friend need not be always sweet and soft spoken, but could resort to constructive criticism.
How to win FriendshipThe Buddha has explained how to win and keep friends. By being generous one can surely win friends (dadam mittani ganthati) and also by being courteous and benevolent. Rajoice in your friend's achievements, praise any commendable acts and strong points. But the Buddha says that if you always keep on talking of your friend's goodness, kindness, greatness and so on, then you are trying to deceive him. In dealing with friends, one's word should be as clean as the actions.
According to the Jataka Pali, striking a friendship is one, maintaining it is another. Buddha has given invaluable advice not only to keep the friendship but also to make the bonds stronger. One should not visit the friends too often or overstay the welcome.This changes the friend to a foe. If your friend loses something, then you may be under a cloud. Visiting a friend too often invariably leads to gossip, which will involve you in a vortex of trouble. Buddha says that, it is equally bad not to visit your friends at all. You should judge for yourself how often you should visit your friend, how long you should stay and so on. Buddha has pointed out that a friendship deteriorates by asking favours, especially at wrong times. If at all you ask a favour, it should not be unreasonable or of a demanding nature. Asking favours far too often makes you a pest more than a friend.
Buddha has explained that if someone wants to bring about his own ruin or downfall, he could associate with Papa mitta or evil friends who are gamblers, libertines, tripplers, cheats, swindlers or violent thugs. Buddhist Commentarial Tradition defines a friend thus:- "A friend is one whose association leads to spiritual profitability, protects you from evil that may befall you and is inclined towards your welfare."
In this manner, Buddhism points out the basic ingredients to foster a healthy friendship, minimize friction and displeasure, promote good-will, and companionship and ultimately bring about one's welfare here, and spiritual progress leading to the realization of the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.
The foregoing facts show that Buddha's admonition regarding how to chose friends, win them and keep them expounded in the 6th Century before the common era surpasses all books of the twentieth century on this subject and the Buddhist Concept of Friendship remains a vibrant force forever.